How to Know if Emotional Baggage is the People Pleaser’s Responsibility

Is emotional baggage the people pleaser’s responsibility? It absolutely is. We all bring emotional baggage to adulthood. It’s inevitable. Can we blame our parents, education, religious environments, and friends? We can place blame on all these factors. However, placing blame isn’t going to fix our problems.

Anyone should take responsibility when they’ve done something wrong. But the responsibility I’m talking about here is not where the one responsible is necessarily to blame.


Placing blame can be a natural unhealthy defense mechanism that’s usually not beneficial. But finding the root to any problem can be gratifying and therapeutic. The root of a problem can be a guess in the dark if multiple sources are assumed. And by all means, if you know where your emotional baggage originates, address and process it.

However, if you’re not sure about the origins, don’t stress. There are many different therapies and one specifically called Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT). You don’t always have to know the roots to make effective and lasting changes. Check out this article by Simply Psychology to learn more about SFT


Emotional baggage can impact relationships, work, and connections in general. This impact presents with the emotional baggage ruling your life via unhealthy behaviors and emotional dysregulation. Until you take the initiative to make changes, your behaviors and lack of emotional regulation will continue. Only you can begin the process of working on these issues to bring about positive changes.


What’s Your Responsibility

People pleasers can easily feel victimized and look for ways to blame others. But you must take back your power and be responsible for your actions whether you’ve been wronged or not. Your responsibility is to yourself first. You are responsible to others when you are in relationships with them. But remember, emotional baggage is always your responsibility no matter the source.

You may know your parents or past lovers played a role in your current situation, but the past cannot be changed, only processed. It’s important to put blame aside and be accountable for your current behaviors and emotions. Nobody will or can ever do this for you.

Self-awareness and mindfulness are imperative for one to learn their responsibilities. I highly recommend therapy to start your journey of becoming more self-aware. With self-awareness you’ll be able to take responsibility for your own emotional baggage. Visit Betterhelp for convenient online therapy BetterHelp | Professional Therapy With A Licensed Therapist.

Jenn Kemp, PMHNP, is a dedicated psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner with a personal and professional commitment to helping others overcome people-pleasing behaviors. Having navigated her own journey through these habits, Jenn combines clinical expertise with genuine empathy to guide her readers towards healthier, more authentic lives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *