How to Stop Being Offended by Everything

It didn’t take much to offend me in the past. Any critique could send me into a spiral of ruminating thoughts about that one conversation for days. To me, their critique felt like a violation. When in reality, it was an opinion. Even if meant insultingly, it was still just an opinion.

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I once read that if you feel offended by something, it might be something you actually believe about yourself which is why if someone said to me, “you’re a thief”, I could confidently reply, “no I’m not”. This statement wouldn’t make me mad because I know it to be false, and it doesn’t resonate with me. However, if someone said, “You’re writing is horrendous”, that statement might get my attention. I don’t think my writing is the worst but putting myself out there isn’t easy, and I by no means think my writing is Pulitzer Prize material.

Defense Against Offensive Triggers

Reframing comments to be unoffensive is not the easiest and takes practice and intentionality. If you read any of my blogs, I mention that word (intentional) a lot. This list, obviously not exhaustive, gives you an idea what personal qualities to practice and put into place to reframe offensive comments.

  • Self-awareness: This requires a conscious or intentional understanding of your personality, feelings, and behaviors.

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  • Self-esteem: Our self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. It can be low or high, and if high, is indicative of having confidence.

  • Self-respect: Think of someone you have deep respect for. It’s probably because of their morals, values, and qualities. You may admire this person. Self-respect is the act of having admiration for yourself.

  • Communication skills: At the basic level, communication is the act of sending and receiving information. Communication barriers sometimes create rifts in the common goal of communicating. Some of those barriers are tone of voice, presentation of information, body language (facial expressions), and most important NOT LISTENING! Learn to listen.

  • Emotional intelligence: The biggie! Most people can name 3 different emotions: angry, sad and happy. There are many more emotions than these 3. That makes it important to learn what different emotions you experience throughout a day, understand them, and control them. This also entails having empathy for others.

Reframe Your Offended Mindset

Are there a lot of offensive people walking around opening their mouth when it’s not necessary? I’m not sure about that. However, I’m positive that as a people pleaser it sure feels like it. Reframing comments to not be offensive is so extremely freeing. I’m also positive that I couldn’t have gotten here without therapy. As always, I highly recommend therapy. Most adults don’t know how to communicate effectively without emotions getting in the way. So, hire yourself a therapist, and stop being offended. I say this with much love :)

For online therapy visit BetterHelp | Professional Therapy With A Licensed Therapist.

Jenn Kemp, PMHNP, is a dedicated psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner with a personal and professional commitment to helping others overcome people-pleasing behaviors. Having navigated her own journey through these habits, Jenn combines clinical expertise with genuine empathy to guide her readers towards healthier, more authentic lives.

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