What’s One Change That Would Allow a Peaceful Life

What is peace? Peace means different things to different people. Some people find nature peaceful. Other’s find dinner parties peaceful. The peace I’m discussing here is inner peace. Peace in general is being free from severe emotional disturbance. People pleasing can affect your peace so you must stop people pleasing if you want peace.

With extreme emotional disturbance, there is no peace. The two cannot very easily coexist, if at all. We’ll all experience emotional disturbance in moderation, which is considered healthy anxiety. It’s healthy to experience some anxiety so we develop resiliency.

But severe emotional disturbance impacts our ability to function optimally.

If you know anything about people-pleasing, you know we don’t feel the peace. We are on high alert. Our sympathetic nervous systems are in overdrive much of the time. Do you ever wonder what if would feel like to feel peace though?

What Peace isn’t

Peace isn’t tiptoeing around your partner, children, family members or coworkers being careful not to upset them. It’s not watching what you say as not to offend anyone even in the slightest.

Peace isn’t hiding a truth or thought to appease others. It’s not sacrificing hobbies or interests so those your close with don’t feel wanted.

Peace isn’t that heavy feeling you get when a particular person comes to visit. It’s not feeling like the cooking, cleaning, driving, and laundry all falls on you.

Peace isn’t the rage you feel when someone says something you find offensive. It isn’t being unhappy or depressed and you can’t figure out why.

Peace isn’t the resentment you feel towards someone who just won’t stop asking things of you. It’s not wishing you could just be sick so you could rest and catch a break.

Peace isn’t feeling like a stranger in your own home. It’s not passive-aggressive, cocky, prideful, or hateful.

What Peace is

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Peace is knowing that no matter what, you will be okay. It’s feeling the confidence to say what you need to even if that something might be upsetting to another.

Peace is freeing because you’re no longer enslaved to habits of people-pleasing. It’s walking down the hall with a pep in your step and a self-assurance you’ve never experienced before.

Peace is hearing a passive-aggressive comment and ignoring it because that comment has no bearing on how you live your life. It’s not worrying about the future but living in the present.

Peace is warm, calm, content, empathetic, wise, understanding, and honest. It’s what you get is what you get. It’s I am who I am, unapologetically.

Living with peace is one of my highest aspirations. However, it doesn’t always come easily. I have to be intentional with my thoughts to arrive at peace, day after day.

So, I challenge you to be intentional with your thoughts about what it means for YOU to be at peace with YOUR life.


Jenn Kemp, PMHNP, is a dedicated psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner with a personal and professional commitment to helping others overcome people-pleasing behaviors. Having navigated her own journey through these habits, Jenn combines clinical expertise with genuine empathy to guide her readers towards healthier, more authentic lives.

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