Why Every People Pleaser Must Take Vacations with Friends

It’s important for everyone to be with friends and take trips away from your immediate family…even the introvert that thrives off alone time. We’re social creatures. I’m of course targeting people pleasers because it’s the theme of my blog. But also, because people pleasers are more prone to avoid vacations away from the people who depend on them.

I Didn’t Take the Vacation for Years

I went too many years without meeting up with my friends on girls’ trips because my perception was that my people at home needed me. If I were to leave for vacation, who would care for the kids? Who would make sure my husband and kids were fed? Who would drive everyone around? Who would mediate any arguments?

Even more, if I went on a vacation without my husband and kids, it might make them upset if they couldn’t go on vacation too. I didn’t want them to feel neglected or think I was selfish. So, I stayed home while my girls got away for a few days each year and relaxed on the beach together.

I would longingly look at their beach pictures and click the love button because I always love when any of my friends can be together. But I wanted to be part of the reunions. Something in me couldn’t bring myself to break away from the demands that fed my inner people pleaser.

I Took the Trip…Again…and Again

I finally decided (after years of therapy) that I would go on the girl’s trip. I went, and I never looked back. Sure, I missed my kids and husband, but I noticed I came home refreshed, revitalized, and grasping onto threads of who I used to be, and I needed that reminder.

My friends remind me that I’m more than the people pleaser at home. They remind me I deserve to have ‘me time’ and friend time. Their company reminds me of things I love, things I loathe, and why these specific ladies are in my life.

When you take these vacations, you prove to yourself that your family can survive without you. Hopefully, you’re not waiting on your friends’ hand and foot, therefore, you discover what it feels like to have time to yourself. It’s extremely freeing.

I’m now the one reaching out to my friends asking where are we going next year? When is everyone available? Southwest is running a deal on flights so please decide something in the next week. In all honesty, I know if we add it to our calendar, its way more likely to come to fruition, and it’s super exciting to have a girls’ trip on my calendar to look forward to.

Stop Wasting Precious Time

Do yourself and your family a favor and get a friend trip on the books. It’s a glimpse into the world of living life on your own terms. It may take years of therapy to get there…so be it. It may be helpful to schedule yourself a therapy appointment now.A great place to start is the convenience of online therapy with BetterHelp | Professional Therapy With A Licensed Therapist.

Your true friends love you for you and love your company. The gathering doesn’t have to be a full-blown week vacation. It might be a brunch date or weekly Bunco game. Whatever the setting, make the get together happen. You’ll be so glad you did. Here’s a picture of me on a trip with another good friend of mine, dessert, and my favorite at that :)


Jenn Kemp, PMHNP, is a dedicated psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner with a personal and professional commitment to helping others overcome people-pleasing behaviors. Having navigated her own journey through these habits, Jenn combines clinical expertise with genuine empathy to guide her readers towards healthier, more authentic lives.

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